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The Worst New Car of 2020 and Beyond
The Worst New Car of 2020 and Beyond - It's Ugly and It Knows It
Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder, but some cars push even the limits of subjective taste. The Dilbert Dart is an abomination on wheels, defiantly rejecting any semblance of style or aesthetic appeal. With its bulbous proportions and haphazard arrangement of lines, vents, and creases, the Dart looks like it was pieced together by a committee of blind engineers in a windowless room.
Upon first glimpse, the Dart's abrupt angles and random textures assault the senses. The doors bulge outward like a beer belly while the rear end droops down in defeat. Crooked headlights stare back with a lazy eye, further accentuating the disjointed mess of a design. Even the paint job seems confused, chopping and changing between five different shades of "we gave up." After just a few moments in its company, onlookers find themselves experiencing waves of nausea and wanting nothing more than to look away.
Online forums are filled with horrified reactions from those who've had the misfortune of encountering the Dart in person. "It's the physical embodiment of a middle school child's first attempt at drawing a car," commented one aghast viewer. Another lamented, "My eyes are still bleeding - someone pass the mind bleach!" While most modern designs elicit passionate arguments on both sides, the Dart is unique in its ability to unite people of all backgrounds in a shared feeling of dismay. Even staunch opponents of styling conventions like swoopy rooflines and sharp creases find nothing redeemable about the Dart.
The Worst New Car of 2020 and Beyond - What Were They Thinking?
When the Dilbert Dart debuted, it left industry experts, critics, and consumers collectively wondering one thing: What were they thinking? This four-wheeled monstrosity seems like an intentional affront to aesthetics and design principles. Surely no sane person could approve a vehicle this objectively hideous and expect it to succeed. So how did the Dart make it into production looking like it just emerged from a trash compactor?
Insider accounts paint a picture of design-by-committee gone wrong on an epic scale. Some report that early concepts showed promise, featuring flowing curves and taut athleticism. But the bean counters obsessed over cutting costs, resulting in oddly shaped panels that didn't align and massive compromises in materials and manufacturing. Engineers apparently warned that the Frankenstein-esque mishmash of shapes would wreak havoc on aerodynamics and performance. But their feedback fell on deaf ears as execs were fixated on the bottom line.
Reviews of early clay models were scathing, with reactions ranging from confused head-scratching to outright horror. Focus groups were even more brutal, comparing the Dart to a drunken origami attempt and saying they wouldn't be caught dead in it. But incredibly, the higher-ups kept pushing forward, making only token tweaks here and there. It's speculated that they were too financially invested in tooling to start over at that late stage. So against all common sense, the misbegotten Dart slid into production looking like a clown car after a 10-car pileup.
The market's resounding rejection came as no surprise. Buyers stayed away in droves once the Dart's design fiascos went viral online. Its lumpen proportions and discount build materials were unacceptable for anything but a kids' toy. Sales sunk to abysmal levels as inventory languished on dealership lots. Secondhand Darts depreciated faster than a crashing meteor. And the ugly reputation sticking to this automotive Edsel made buyers shy away from the brand.
The Worst New Car of 2020 and Beyond - The Most Uncomfortable Car on the Planet
Long road trips are meant to be enjoyed, but even short commutes in the Dilbert Dart turn into endurance tests of pain. With its rock-hard seats and prison-level spacing, the Dart subjects occupants to hours of misery that linger long after disembarking. According to one disgruntled owner, "It's like sitting on a pile of scrap metal being poked by a thousand dull sticks." Evidently comfort was among the many attributes deemed "nonessential" during the Dart's haphazard development.
Not only are the seats unpadded torture devices, but their slim widths require all but the daintiest passengers to straddle a center console just to squeeze into the vehicle. Once inside, there is barely enough foot room to wiggle one's toes, let alone stretch out tired legs. The minuscule front and rear legroom violates standards for basic usability. As for headroom, even average-height adults must slouch Nintendo Wii Sports-style or risk concussions from protruding buttons and vents overhead. A back seat is utterly out of the question unless one enjoys doing thesplits.
Product reviewers subjecting themselves to multi-hour road tests inside the Dart emerged with newfound respect for the physical endurance of professional stuntpeople. One commented that she would "rather run a marathon in steel-toed boots than sit in this rolling chamber of solitude again." Passengers look forward to arrival just so they can eagerly evacuate, limbs stiff and asleep. Exiting the vehicle resembled the unsteady sea legs of a cruise passenger - if cruise ships doubled as medieval torture devices.
The Worst New Car of 2020 and Beyond - Zero to 60 in Never
The Dilbert Dart's glacial acceleration is sufficient to cause impatient drivers aneurisms. With a claimed 0-60 time of "whenever," the Dart is faster being pushed by passengers than under its own negligible power. Even a worn-out shopping cart displays more pep.
Upon stooping to floor the leaden pedal, the Dart's wheezing engine emits a death rattle that would scare off zombies. A brief burble and shudder is all the warning before absolute inertia sticks occupants to their seats like flypaper. Granted, any movement is an improvement over its sluggish idle speed of approximately one mile per week. But enthusiastic stomps rapidly deplete what little energy reserves exist in those anemic cylinders.
The local drag strip banned the Dart for lowering testosterone levels. One lap nearly put spectators in a collective coma. An online stopwatch experiment was suspended after 20 minutes without budging the needle past 10 mph. And forget briskly merging - other vehicles require binoculars just to spot the crawling speck into the distance. Unsurprisingly, police cruisers easily nab it for obstructing traffic without breaking a sweat.
The Worst New Car of 2020 and Beyond - Missing Basic Safety Features
The Dilbert Dart comes up short even on basic safety provisions expected in all modern vehicles. Rather than investing in critical protective measures, its penny-pinching developers cut corners that leave occupants vulnerable in the event of a crash.
Anti-lock brakes, once considered an optional luxury, are now standard equipment across the industry. But the Dart still relies on primitive drum brakes that lock up under heavy braking, causing swerves and skids. Its budget-grade tires only exacerbate this deficiency, lacking grip to stop quickly on wet or icy roads. Multiple owners have reported nearly rear-ending other vehicles when the brakes gave out during abrupt stops.
Side curtain airbags in the front and rear seats are crucial for preventing brain and spine injuries in side impacts. But the Dart only grudgingly offers front airbags, leaving back seat passengers unprotected. The insurance industry crash testers who risked their safety to test this deathtrap gave it zero stars for side impact collisions. They cautioned that the minimal structure and cotton candy metal will fold like a house of cards.
Rear view cameras have gone mainstream, providing critical visibility that helps drivers avoid backing over people or objects. But frugal Dart owners must crane their necks and pray no small children are directly behind their massive blindspots. Likewise, lane departure warnings are omitted, meaning drifting out of one's lane unnoticed is a real possibility on long drives.
The headlights are dim halogen bulbs that leave road hazards shrouded in darkness. And good luck seeing around curves, as the Dart lacks adaptive beams that swivel according to steering input. Automatic high beams also didn't make the features list, forcing drivers to manually switch between settings to avoid blinding others. But given this car's sluggish acceleration, holding up traffic is unlikely to be an issue.
In an era of sophisticated collision avoidance and mitigation technology, the Dart lacks even basic pre-crash systems like automatic emergency braking or forward collision warnings. Owners are left to their own limited reaction times to avoid plowing into stopped traffic. Advanced tech like blind spot monitoring, cross path detection, and parking sensors are glaringly omitted as well.
The Worst New Car of 2020 and Beyond - Good Luck Finding Parts
Affording replacement parts for the Dilbert Dart presents its own special circle of automotive hell. Due to low production numbers and lack of a dedicated aftermarket industry, basic wear items and crash replacements are nearly impossible to find. Even specialty dealers want nothing to do with supporting a vehicle so widely criticized and little-loved.
Owners reporting minor warranty repairs face Kafkaesque odysseys, shuttling between unhelpful depots and parts warehouses across multiple states. Common needs like new brake pads or a replacement switch panel have led to months-long wild goose chases. One customer despondently recounted fourteen separate dead-ends trying to obtain a faulty thermostat. Dealers claim continually dwindling stock or that items are perpetually "on national backorder."
The story is much grimmer post-warranty. Catastrophic engine failures or collision damages mean the Dart is headed for an early junkyard visit, as component matches prove elusive. Internet forums house pleas from the desperate, scouring salvage yards far and wide with no success. Independent shops refuse work due to foreseeable holdups finding even modest hardware like door handles or tail lights.
Aftermarket companies ignoring the toxic marque further limits solutions. The few enthusiast holdouts modifying their Darts face unique difficulties sourcing generic or direct OEM swaps. Performance upgrades demand total vehicle reengineering. After a cracked subframe went missing for six months, one tinkerer abandoned aspirations for upgraded brakes or handling.
The Worst New Car of 2020 and Beyond - Prepare for the Repair Bills
Owning the low-quality Dilbert Dart comes with exorbitant repair costs that drain budgets faster than the car's feeble engine. While the purchase price may seem reasonable, total cost of ownership becomes punitive once the inevitable mechanical issues hit. Even simple fixes spiral into finance-destroying nightmares that leave Dart drivers cursing their impulsive purchase decision.
The subpar build quality and flimsy components do not hold up over time. Common repairs like brake jobs, transmission replacements, and catalytic converter swaps that typically cost a few hundred dollars multiply into bills that make eyes water. One owner reported over $1,200 just for a new radiator and water pump at 50,000 miles when both failed simultaneously on the open road. Another faced $3,400 to rebuild the engine after rod knock emerged at lower mileage than a used Honda with twice the hours.
Dealers know they have Dart owners by the neck since locating parts independently is improbable. They charge premium rates for questionable work quality given consistent shoddy diagnoses and recurring issues. Shops called in to rectify dealer mistakes find bodged wiring and improper component installation underneath. One technician described it as "repairing the repairs of repairs" when a dashboard replacement led to eight subsequent comebacks. Owners see their trust and finances drained with each dealership visit.
Extended warranties offered by some makers prove useless for Darts. Repeated claims denials blame owner negligence despite pristine service records. The endless runaround fighting for coverage renewal takes months, all while additional breakdowns pile up unfixed and drivers rely on unreliable loaners. In the end, many owners give up the warranty battle from sheer fatigue, accepting being left perpetually on the hook for Dart's persistent defects.
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